A Survey for the Bored

I recently got this from a friend. Since I am currently incredibly bored, but not in the mood to do anything productive like writing an article, I'm going to fill it out for your reading pleasure.

Time Started: 9pm

Full Name: Alexander David Scott

Nickname: Alex (almost everyone), Big Al (to a select few college friends), The Orgasmatron (future girlfriend)

Single or Taken?: Single

Gender: Male

Birthday: 7th March 1983

Star Sign: Pisces

Siblings: Three - Liam (21), Eve (16) and Millie (6), with one more on the way.

Eye colour: Hazel

Shoe size: 12

Height: 6'3"

What are you wearing right now?: Black trousers and a black hoodie

Where do you live?: Edinburgh

Righty or lefty?: Righty

Who are your closest friends?: Scott, Stuart, Chris, David, and Jess

Do you have a Girlfriend?: Nope. Isn't that question a bit redundant? I wonder if anyone has written that they had a girlfriend, but also that they are single. I think you're just rubbing it in, you bastards!

Did you send this to your crush?: Well, its on the internet, but I doubt she will read it.

Your fave place to shop: Play.com or Amazon

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?: God no. Its like body graffiti.

Favourite...

Colour: Green

Number: 72

Boys Names: Mark, Paul

Girls Names: Jade, Bethany

Subject in school: Chemistry

Animal: I quite like dogs. But if I wanted something needy and expensive, I'd be better off just getting a girlfriend.

Drink: Ribena

Alcoholic drink: Red Wine (A good Rioja, Pinot Noir or Zinfandel)

Sport: Poker, if that counts. Basketball if it doesn't.

Food: Sandwiches

Months: March and April

Song at the Moment: 'Weapon of Vanity' by Soilwork

Movie: You Only Live Twice (old Bond movie)

Juice: Passion fruit

Finger: Middle, but they all come in handy if you'll excuse the pun

Breakfast: A proper greasy fry up is always nice.

Perfume: Bloody hell, what a question. I like Gucci Envy on women, but I am not a perfume fan in general and would prefer none at all. Men shouldn't wear smelly stuff.

Cartoon Character: Donkey, from Shrek.

Have you ever...

Given Anyone a Bath: No, what a crap present that would be.

Smoked: Yeah sure, smoking is loads of fun. I wish it was cheap, healthy, and attractive though.

Bungee Jumped: No

Made Yourself throw up: Yes, but never on purpose.

Been skinny dipping: No, but I would if the situation came up

Been in the opposite sex's bathroom: Yes. Once, coming out of a restaurant in Sheffield, my whole family took a wrong turn and ended up in the ladies'.

Eaten a dog biscuit: Urgh, no.

Put your tongue on a frozen pole: Not unless you count a Calippo.

Loved someone so much it made you cry?: No. I hardly ever cry.

Broken a bone: No.

Been in a physical fight: Sure. I did Karate for years. I also got in a couple of fights at school, including one with a person who subsequently became my best friend for years.

Been in a police car: No

Came close to dying: Hmm... Not really.

Been in a sauna: Yes, and it was horrible.

Been in a hot tub: Yeah.

Been in the ocean: Yes, and it was horrible.

Fallen asleep in school: No, but a lecturer at university used to make me Narcoleptic at times.

Ran away?: From what? Maybe a big bee or something.

Broken someone's heart: I think so. I definitely broke my own heart by splitting up with my first long-term girlfriend Neda. It was for the best in the long run though.

Cried when someone died: Yeah. My childhood best friend, Zaid Alfaham, died of a rare blood disorder when I was in secondary school.

Fell off your chair: Almost definitely. Actually, that reminds me, must send this to Stephen.

Sat by the phone all night?: What for?

Saved MSN conversations: Yes, but only because it's done automatically.

Saved e-mails?: Yes

Fallen for your best friend?: Not a best friend, but definitely good friends.

Been cheated on?: Not that I know of. Why would anyone settle for 7-4 offsuit when they could have pocket aces?

What is....

Your good luck charm: Considering I'm a gambler by trade, I suppose its suprising that I don't have one. I make my own luck.

What’s your room like: Well, I work in it and sleep in it, so it's messy.

What's the last thing you said: Goodbye.

What is beside you: A pile of dirty washing (see above)!

The Last thing you ate: Chicken soup (GRR!)

What kind of shampoo do you use?: Head and Shoulders (I wear a lot of black)

Something that has happened to you this year: Appeared on TV, got a full time job as well as two writing contacts, got ill

Have you ever...

Had Chicken pox: Yes

Had a Sore Throat: Yes. Actually, I once had a sore throat that became the subject of a fantastic joke. I was whining about how much it hurt, and how it was the most painful sore throat I'd ever had. My friends then invented the 'Alex Scale' of Pain - with 1 Alex being a sore throat. Childbirth would be about 0.9 Alexes, and Amputation without anesthesia probably about 1.2 Alexes.

Believed in love at first sight?: Its never really happened to me, but I suppose anything's possible.

Loved anyone: I have loved, but not just anyone. I'm quite selective.

Do you like picnics: Depends who with and where. Picnics have the potential to be really boring, as do many outdoor activities.

Did you like school: No, but I really enjoyed college.

What schools have you gone to: Dore Primary, Westbourne, Silverdale, Castle College

Would you...

Eat a live hamster for $1,000,000??: Not a live one, that's too cruel. But if it was already dead, why not?

Go to a Hanson concert if you had a free ticket: No, I'd give it to someone else, then disown them.

Who was the last person you touched?: My flatmate - it was a 'good luck' pat on the back, nothing more!

Who was the last person you massaged: You ask, almost as if everybody should have massaged someone else. I haven't massaged anyone!

Who was the last person you Kissed?: Yikes. I actually don't know.

Who was the last person you yelled at?: A guy called Paddy, at a poker table over a year ago.

Who was the last person who broke your heart: My ex girlfriend Suzanne

Who was the last person who told you they loved you: Probably my Mum (bloody hell, this quiz doesn't make me sound cool at all).

Who is your loudest friend?: Accie.

Do you / have you / are you...

Do you like filling these out: Occasionally, but I don't know whether I could do it for a living.

Do you wear contacts or glasses: No, neither.

Do you like yourself: Yes, but not in a vain way.

Do you get along with your family: Very well.

Do you do drugs: Nothing more harmful than alcohol.

Have piercings below the waist: Urgh, god no.

Stolen anything over $50: No. I don't think I've ever stolen anything significant.

Obsessive?: I guess so. I got pretty obsessed with poker.

Depressed?: No, I'm not that kind of person.

Suicidal?: No way.

How many people are you sending this to: Potentially anybody who wants to read this... so about three.

What are you listening to right now: I put my jukebox on random. The first song that came up was 'The Seeker' by Rush.

How many buddies are on your list: My Live Messenger list has 200 people on it. Bebo has about 16.

What did you do yesterday?: Worked through the day, then went to the casino to play in a poker tournament

Hated someone in your family?: No, I like my family a lot. I am closer with my Mum's side though.

Got any awards?: I have a couple of trophies for poker and one for karate. I also have a pink rosette from a childhood friend's birthday party which I am not at all proud of!

Do you wanna get married?: Eventually, but not in a church.

If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be: My health.

How many remote controls are in your house?: At least eight.

Are you double jointed: No, and people that are are just freaks, like left-handed people.

What do you dream about?: Nice things, but I never seem to remember them after I've woken up. They must be good though, because I'm always sad when I can't drift back into one.

Last time you showered: This afternoon.

Last time you took a bath: Yikes, that was a while back.

The last movie you saw at the theatres: The Da Vinci Code.

Root beer or Dr.Pepper: Yuck! Dr Pepper, but only if it was Dr Pepper or death (or worse, Dr Pepper or Coke).

Vanilla or chocolate Ice cream: Chocolate.

Summer or winter: Winter.

Silver or Gold: Silver (or white gold)

Diamond or Pearl: Diamond

Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset

Sprite or 7up: Sprite.

Trousers or shorts: Trousers.

Orange juice or apple juice: Orange. Apple juice is disgusting, although its alcoholic derivative, Magners, is very nice indeed.

Cats or dogs: Dogs, but only because cats are girly.

Coffee or tea: Coffee, but I like both a lot.

Phone or in person:In person, by miles. I hate speaking to people on the phone, even friends and family.

Eldest, middle, youngest or only child?: Eldest.

There you go. Now you know loads of important stuff about me. Maybe it'll come in handy in a pub quiz someday.

A Semi-Pro's Tale

Another one of my findings is this - an interview with me originally intended for the Gutshot website. They'll be pissed off in a few years when I'm world famous and they realise they turned this down.

Thanks to Jason Roberts for working on this.

British Poker Open : A Semi Pro’s Tale
By Jason ‘Red’ Roberts

“Can you move out the way mate, I can’t see the poker"

I am in the café / bar area at the Hammersmith Riverside TV studios chatting to Marcel Luske when an eager punter, who finds view of the action on the screens blocked by the tall Dutchman, promptly asks him to get out of the way.

Marcel apologises and moves away after offering to get me a drink from the bar (proving conclusively that he really will have a chat and a drink with absolutely anyone). Gus Hansen wanders by as does Mike Matusow. They are all here to take part in their heats in the British Poker Open. The format is six-handed no limit holdem with only the winner of each of the six heats progressing to the final table and, along with the pros, there’s a mix of internet qualifiers and semi-pros taking their first steps in front of the glare of the TV rigs.

While I am sure we would love to reach the heights of the big-name big-money pros, I am here to chat to someone that an average gutshot customer might find a little easier to relate to.

Alex Scott is an Edinburgh based semi-pro poker player who took the 5 hour train journey down to London to compete in a tough heat that pitted him against Mike Matusow, Kristy Gazes and Clonie Gowen amongst others.

Jason Roberts : So tell me a bit about your poker background. How and why did you get into it at first?

Alex Scott : I first played when I was about sixteen with pennies on a friend's living room carpet … just because we thought it was cool I think. I didn't get into it properly until second year of Uni about four years ago. I looked up the rules on the internet and we started playing five card draw for bottle tops... typical students!

Jason Roberts : So how did your place at the BPO come about?

Alex Scott : Well, I play almost all my online poker at Full Tilt. Its my favourite site, and I can't be bothered to move my bankroll around too much because it costs me money in currency exchanges every time. I've played there since just a couple of months after they opened for real money when there were about 1000 players on at peak times. Recently out of the blue they emailed me saying they'd like to reward my 'continued loyalty and support', and that I was one of their 'better customers from the UK', so they'd like to buy me into the BPO.

Jason Roberts : Nice!

Alex Scott : I don't think they have a lot of British players... at least many who are as obsessed as I am!

Jason Roberts : Is that the first time you've faced the pros?

Alex Scott : In live games, I've played with a couple of pros - Malcolm Harwood from Late Night Poker, Dave Colclough and Tony Kendall recently too. Online, I've played against the pros a lot, and I've got screenshots on my website of me busting a few of them.

Jason Roberts : So how did you find the BPO experience? Nerves a problem?

Alex Scott : I really enjoyed the whole day, despite coming second. I was really nervous when I first walked into the green room - it was full of people I recognised. I was also nervous in my first interview before the tournament. Once I got sat down at the table though, I just started concentrating and didn't really feel the nerves. I think the pressure got to me once or twice though. I'm not used to playing on TV.

Jason Roberts : Not a problem having Mike the mouth to your left?

Alex Scott : Strategy wise, that was the last place I wanted him but he is a really nice guy. I think they show the worst side of him on TV - the reckless, emotional side. In reality he is a very kind and honest person. I knew he was the best player at the table after a couple of hands though. I really wanted him to my right so I could act after him on most hands. Instead I think he got the best seat, with the two internet guys to his left.

Jason Roberts : How did you adjust then strategy wise?

Alex Scott : Its funny, I thought I'd go into the table and start off playing tight. But on the first hand Clonie Gowen raised from the button and Kristy Gazes reraised from the small blind. The next couple of hands were raised too - it was pretty crazy. I particularly thought Clonie Gowen was playing too loose, for that stage of the tournament at least. So I tried to get aggressive and play a little fast. It didn't work out too well though.

Jason Roberts : What happened?

Alex Scott : I lost nearly half my stack on the fourth hand.

Jason Roberts : Whoops.

Alex Scott : That's what I said!

Jason Roberts : Way to go on your TV debut.

Alex Scott : I know. At least it will make good TV.

Jason Roberts : You recovered well then to get heads up with Mike.

Alex Scott : Yeah, after that I managed to pick up a few hands and recover a bit. I pushed all-in with A-K a couple of times and didn't get called. Then I did it with Q-Q and got called by Leigh's A-Js... thankfully he missed and I was above my starting stack for the first time! After that I stole a couple of pots, but generally kept out of trouble. I didn't do much to be honest, the other players knocked themselves out with silly plays, there was no skill from me involved. Brant, for example, was all-in for about 250,000 against Mike Matusow when we were three-handed - and Mike had him barely covered. Mike set him in after he'd reraised preflop, and Brant called instantly with K-Q! Mike had A-Q and busted him, so we got heads up with him having over $500,000 and me less than $100,000.

Jason Roberts : How did you find the heads up duel?

Alex Scott : It was short. The blinds were 7,000/15,000 and I had less than 100k, so I had to double up quickly. I folded once or twice, then decided I was moving all-in with almost anything. I picked up K-4 and shoved it in. Mike of course was going to call with almost any two cards, I just had to hope to get lucky. Unfortunately, he had J-10 and made a straight on the river. It was so close too ... my king high was good until the last card!

Jason Roberts : Rivered by Matusow! You must have been gutted?

Alex Scott : Actually I didn't feel too bad. The dealers and production staff were giving me sympathy - 'unlucky river, mate', and all that but I never really expected to win - I mean come on, I was heads up against one of the world's best players, and he had over a 5-1 chip lead? There is no shame in losing in that situation.

Jason Roberts : Did you get much verbal from the mouth or did he have one his quieter days?

Alex Scott : Actually he was pretty quiet except in the green room where he lost about $10,000 online. I said to him that he was being quiet - his response was 'I'm trying to concentrate' but he was very nice. He kept telling us how great we were playing, and gave us advice in the dressing room during the break.

Jason Roberts : You wouldn't get that from Hellmuth.

Alex Scott : Not if he's actually like the person they show on TV. According to Mike he's just a nice guy with an ego problem.

Jason Roberts : So happy overall with your BPO adventure?

Alex Scott : Not really happy with how I played. There's a couple of hands where I made big mistakes. Really, I was lucky to finish as high as I did but I had a really great time in the tournament, and I hope I can get on TV again to improve on second place.

Jason Roberts : So what's next for you? You describe yourself as semi-pro now. Any plans to go pro?

Alex Scott : Well, I just started working for PokerStars.com - its a job I applied for a while ago. Since I left university I've been looking for a job in the industry. During that time I've basically been playing for a living, but I knew I didn't want to sustain myself in the long-term that way. Of course I'm still going to play a lot. It may not be enough to live on, but it sure pays for a lot of nice things. Long term, I'd like to be a part-time pro. In other words, I don't want to have to grind it out, but I want to be able to pick and choose when and where I play.

Jason Roberts : Do you have any favourite poker pros? Who would you love to be on the same table as just for the experience?

Alex Scott : I have a lot of respect for players like Phil Ivey, Daniel Negreanu, Ted Forrest, Howard Lederer and Jennifer Harman. I'd like to play with them all - although obviously they would destroy me! I'd also love to play with Mike Matusow again and I'd like to lay a beat on Phil Hellmuth.

Jason Roberts : Wouldn't we all? Why do you think they would destroy you? Do you think there is such a big gap between semi-pro and pro?

Alex Scott : The difference isn't as big as it is between a semi pro and a beginner but its fairly significant. Some of those guys just don't seem to make a mistake - people like Phil Ivey are so focused, and their play is almost flawless. I still make a lot of mistakes. Its just that the people I usually choose to play against make more - therefore I have an edge.

Jason Roberts : Oh well, only one way to learn how to make less mistakes.

Alex Scott : Yep, sometimes the best way to learn is to do it the hard way and learn from your mistakes.

Jason Roberts : Good luck at the tables.

Alex Scott : Cheers Jason. It was an honour.

Don't Call Me An Internet Qualifier!

I finally got hold of a copy of my British Poker Open heat on DVD. I haven't been able to watch it properly yet, but it brought a couple of things to mind.

Before playing in the BPO, I had to fill out a questionnaire for the show so they'd know a bit about me. I had a good laugh writing my answers, so I thought I'd post them here for those who are interested in getting to know me better. Here we go!

Name: Alex Scott
Nationality: British
D.O.B. 7th March 1983
Nickname: ‘The Mad Donkey’ (Don’t ask)

1. What is your profession?

I recently quit my part-time job and now all I do is play poker. Please, don’t ever describe me as an ‘internet qualifier’ – its become almost a derogatory term.

2. State five things no one knows about you.

I’m a very open and honest person, so consequently the only things I can think of are a bit inappropriate!

3. Where do you live and why?

I live in Edinburgh in Scotland. It’s the most beautiful city in the world. I came here for University and loved it so much I had to stay. Where else can you look out of your window and see mountains, and yet be less than five minutes walk from two Starbucks branches?

4. What’s your biggest non-poker achievements?

Probably earning my degree, or my latest Karate belt.

5. What would you do if you didn’t play poker?

Play backgammon. Or work in some dull job to do with my I.T. degree.

6. How long have you been playing poker?

Seven years, but I’ve only been any good for three or four.

7. What are your quirky habits/hobbies/superstitions?

I love metal music, but dress like a normal person. I’m interested in theology and philosophy, and I’ve read the Koran, the Bible, the Fisher Price Big Book of Philosophy etc. I also have knowledge of wine, and particularly enjoy drinking it.

8. Do you have a favourite/lucky hand, why?

7-2 offsuit is a novelty hand for me. It’s the worst hand in Hold’em, but amongst my friends we have a running joke where we end up all-in with it all the time.

9. Is there a hand that you particularly dislike, why?

I think A-Q has busted me out of more tournaments than any other hands. Its definitely lost me more money in cash games than any other hand.

10. What is the strangest thing about you?

My taste in music, which spans from Reggae (Bob Marley) to Death Metal (Cannibal Corpse) via lounge (Frank Sinatra) and dance (Fluke).

Nobody I know can stomach some of the musical combinations I come up with.

11. What is your favourite poker game?

Razz (Seven Card Lowball). Its also my best game in terms of profit.

12. What was your biggest win and where?

I’m mostly a cash game player so I haven’t really got any big wins or losses to report.

13. What was your biggest loss and where?

See above.

14. Who is the best poker player in the world today, why?

Phil Ivey is the best tournament Hold’em player I’ve seen. He just doesn’t make any mistakes – he’s absolutely flawless. He’s also quite classy as a player – you don’t see him make a big fuss when his hands are outdrawn.

15. Are there any players you fear or respect, and if so who?

I don’t fear anybody, but I have a great deal of respect for players like Howard Lederer, Jennifer Harman, Phil Ivey, etc.

16. Who in your opinion is the luckiest poker player around?

Someone like Michael Greco, who has made a career in TV poker without having any discernible talent.

17. How much luck is there in poker, how much skill is there in poker?

There is a huge amount of luck in poker. The skill is deciding what to do when you get lucky or unlucky.

18. Do you have a lucky charm? If so what is it and why?

Nah, the leprechauns took my lucky charms.

19. How do you prepare for a game?

I don’t do anything special. I’m always ready for a game.

20. Who is the best female poker player, why?

Jennifer Harman, at least from what I’ve seen and heard. Her achievements at the WSOP and in cash game poker are unmatched by another woman. Really though, there is no difference in the potential ability of a woman compared to a man.

21. Which do you prefer, cash games or tournaments and why?

Cash games. In tournaments there nearly always comes a stage where it’s all about preflop play because the stacks are so short relative to the blinds. It becomes a question of who can find a hand to push all-in with, who can suck out on who, etc. In cash games there is much more room for creativity and subtlety, and consequently winning consistently in cash games against decent players is much more difficult than beating tournaments. I have a chance to beat the Full Tilt pros in the tournament I’ll be playing at the BPO, but in cash game with them I wouldn’t stand a chance.

22. What blind levels do you regularly play?

$5/$10 No Limit Hold’em is my regular game, although I’m working up to $10/$20.

23. What is your view of internet players? How do they differ?

There isn’t a difference. A good poker player is a good player whether they are playing online or in a brick and mortar venue. On the internet however there are many more bad players, so the average level of skill is much lower.

24. What is your favourite casino, why?

All the casinos in Edinburgh are unpleasant places filled with people that you wouldn’t spit on if they were on fire. I definitely don’t have a favourite.

25. Where is the most interesting place you have ever played poker?

On the edge of a cliff. Someone took a bad beat, jumped out of their seat, and fell right over the edge. Okay, not really, but put that in anyway.

26. What is your defining moment in poker?

Some time in Summer 2005, when I started making more money playing poker than I did by working in my part time job.

27. Where did you learn to play poker?

At a friend’s house when I was sixteen, playing for 2p pieces on his carpet.

28. What is the longest poker game you have ever played?

On my birthday this year I played for 24 hours. Technically, we played for longer than that, since we started playing the previous day. We just had a break.

29. What is the strangest thing you have ever won or bet with?

I once bet someone 50p that he wouldn’t chat up a woman twice his age and size on the dancefloor. He couldn’t resist.

30. How good are you at spotting tells? What do you look for?

I did my dissertation on tells and body language, so theoretically I should be quite good. I’m okay at spotting when people look uncomfortable. In general though I think the importance of tells is overrated and I don’t expect to see the pros give any off by accident.

31. What’s the most ridiculous bet you’ve ever made?

I once made a bet which if I lost, I would have to become a vegetarian for a year. I may well have died of starvation if I’d lost it – shares in Quorn would have gone up for sure.

32. What’s your most embarrassing moment ever?

Its probably some kilt-related incident, I do live in Scotland after all.

33. Who would you most like to play poker with and why?

The pros in the big game in Bobby’s Room at Bellagio. I’d be an absolute fish in that game, but I would learn a lot.

34. Who would you least like to play poker with and why?

Phil Hellmuth. I don’t know whether its an act he puts on for television, but I think the way he behaves would really irritate me and put me off my game.

It was amusing to read what I'd written about 7-2 and A-Q, considering how poorly I played both hands in the actual event. But after reading this over again, I am even more pissed off that I was introduced as 'Alex Scott, Internet Qualifier from Edinburgh, England'.