The Mad Donkey's Stable

The poker-related rantings and random thoughts of Alex Scott, part time pro and writer.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

One Year On

It’s now been about a year since I started working in the poker industry (and it’s been about eight since I first took up poker). I thought I’d take time to reflect on the past twelve months.

In January last year, I started work for the World Poker Tour – my first ‘proper’, paid job in the poker industry. The job was promoting the WPT’s new site, WPTOnline, to students in Edinburgh. I was Brand Manager, and was paid a basic salary plus bonuses for signing up large numbers of players. The position was only temporary, but I thought it was a good way to get my foot on the ladder.

Sadly, there were problems from the very beginning. It quickly became apparent that WPTOnline was not a top-quality poker site. The software was poorly designed and frequently crashed, the games weren’t run according to industry-standard poker rules, support was practically non-existent, and worst of all, there were hardly any real money players. Despite my best attempts to bring these flaws to the attention of the people in charge, nothing changed.

It was difficult to encourage people to sign up to a site that I didn’t really believe in. WPT didn’t make it easy either – at the time, every player had to enter credit or debit card details just to sign up for an account, even play money, and this bred suspicion and made on-the-spot signups difficult. On top of that, there were problems with the affiliate codes and therefore some players were not properly assigned to their respective brand managers. Most importantly though, there simply wasn’t anything about WPTOnline that distinguished it from the competition. Why should players want to move from their current site to WPT? There was simply no incentive.

The whole program was a disaster for WPT and for us. The most successful brand managers were able to sign up only 40-80 real money players – much lower than was expected. The least successful managed less than 5. At the end of our contracts, WPT simply cut us off without word. As far as I’m aware, none of us have been paid for the players that we signed up. That’s right – the World Poker Tour, probably the biggest company in the history of poker, screwed a bunch of poor students out of a few hundred quid.

After the WPT job, I continued to play to support my income, working part time to pay the bills in case of emergency. In February I interviewed for PokerStars, and in April I started my first week of training for my job as Poker Support Specialist. The job involves answering players’ emails, investigating collusion, all-in abuse and other forms of cheating, and dealing with other complicated poker-related problems and questions.

PokerStars is an excellent company to work for. The salary is excellent – I’m earning more than any 23-year old I know, and I was given a rise after 3 months and a Christmas bonus that was bigger than a month’s pay. In addition to that there is BUPA health and dental coverage, and other benefits like work-related trips to swanky London venues and possibly even major poker tournaments.

PokerStars is wonderful to work for in other ways. Management is friendly and approachable. For the most part, my colleagues are intelligent people, and there are no ‘weak links’ in the poker support team. They treat their employees well, and I feel valued. On top of all that, I get to work from my favourite city in the world, Edinburgh. For my first full time job, I couldn’t have landed any more firmly on my feet. When Full Tilt Poker approached me later in the year to work for them, I was reluctant to even interview (despite my long-standing fondness for them as a site).

In May, my writing career took off when I was approached by the editor of Inside Edge magazine, and my first article, ‘Necessary Evil’ was commissioned. I did wonder whether the readers would readily accept advice from an ‘unknown’ like myself, but the article was well-received and I have been writing more and more for the magazine since.

Inside Edge has changed a lot since the early days. When I first read the magazine, it was mainly a sports-betting publication with occasional poker coverage. The advice you could read back in those days was fairly basic, quick-fix advice, with choice quotes like ‘If you have A-K, raise regardless of your position’. Shortly before I joined, the poker coverage was expanded, retargeted at intermediate to advanced players, and hugely improved; and in the last couple of months the sports betting aspect has been eliminated. In my opinion, Inside Edge is now one of the highest-quality mainstream poker publications in the UK. In fact, only CardPlayer Europe is in the same league.

Recently, I’ve written several other articles for the mag. ‘Sizing Up’, an article about bet-sizing mistakes, was published in the November issue. The February issue which is being released as we speak contains ‘Plain Sailing’, an article about how to play the river. Future issues will have articles on slowplaying aces and fold equity. In addition to that, it’s possible that a new monthly column may be introduced, where I answer readers’ questions about the game.

Besides Inside Edge, I’ve written for Gutshot, Poker Listings, and Betfair. All of these are reputable companies and I’m proud to be associated with them all.

When I think about what I’ve achieved, I’m very proud and I feel extremely lucky. In the space of 12 months, I’ve gone from scratching out a living online to making a handsome £40,000 a year, even before poker winnings. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, and other areas of my life have undoubtedly suffered. But it’s been worth it. I just hope the next year is as good, and there are no career one-outers on the horizon!

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Timewasting

I'm just wasting some time with some more of those silly surveys - nothing much has happened since my last blog entry, except I'm single again and I bought a sofa... These are mostly stolen from my brother's Myspace page.

If you had a theme tune what would it be?

I wasn't sure, so I typed 'Alex' into search in iTunes. The first song that came up was 'Kicking Pigeons' by Spunge and the second was 'The Undead Will Feast' by Cannibal Corpse. I don't think either of those songs really sound like me, and I have no idea how they are related to 'Alex'.

If I was a fighter (or someday, poker players have theme tunes) I'd choose Enter Sandman by Metallica or Take It Easy Chicken by Mansun, which just have cool riffs.

If you could visit one moment in your past with your current mind what would it be?

Obviously I'd go back to the day I was on TV. I'd chat up Clonie Gowen some more, before raising her all-in on that bluff she pulled. Then I'd bust Mike Matusow and cruise to first place and the final. I would also make sure that I used a condom with my girlfriend in the first year of uni.

If you could go back and kill Hitler as a baby would you?

No, because although what Hitler and his followers and cohorts did was clearly terrible, some good did come of it, and it's unlikely to ever happen again. Killing Hitler wouldn't solve what was essentially a much deeper problem.

If given the choice would you live forever?

Only if I could stay young and healthy, and have the option to commit suicide if the world exploded or something.

What irritates you most?

Camp men are the people that irritate me most. There is just no need to act like a teenage girl if you're a grown man. Sexuality has nothing to do with it - it's just immaturity plain and simple.

What makes you happy?

I'm rarely very happy and rarely very sad - I tend to float in the middle most of the time. I would say I am most happy when in good company, laughing. I also love waking up in the morning, knowing I have nothing to do.

What superpower would you have if you could choose and why?

Oh I've thought about this a lot, and I settled on the ability to manipulate time - ie. pause time at will, move around, and then restart time. Zack used to do it in Saved by the Bell. Or the ability to make women orgasm at will - a talent which I have developed to some extent, but which generally requires close contact with the recipient of said orgasm. Of course, I'd have to be able to apply it selectively - I wouldn't want it to happen randomly as I walked down the street.

Do you think Saddam should have been hung?

Not hung necessarily. I am generally anti capital punishment, and it would've been more fitting for Saddam to die an undignified death as an old man in my opinion. That said, I am not the least bit bothered that they did execute him.

Where do you think Osama Bin Laden is?

Probably behind the fridge or under my bed - that's where everything seems to end up.

Is the glass half full or half empty?

Half full. The chance of me giving you a glass of anything which is only half empty is extremely remote.

If you had to lose one of your 5 senses which would it be?

Well we can rule out taste straight away, because I like food and drink a lot (I have always been destined to be fat and have fat children). Hearing is also important, as I really love music and good conversation. Sight - no way, because I love looking at women and watching movies. Touch - I doubt I could give up masturbation that easily. Smell it is then - I hardly ever use that anyway.

If you could ressurect anyone who would it be?

God. He's dead, according to Nietzsche (Thus Spake Zarathustra). Maybe he could tell people to stop arguing.

What are you going to do now?

Go to bed, probably after having a nice cup of Ribena and watching some naked ladies jiggle their bottoms around.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was your first thought?

Yup, that beard you had really didn't suit you.

When's the next time you will have sex?

When women learn how to do it properly, and not do that stupid thing they all seem to do when on top, where they just wriggle around and bend your knob from side to side.

What's a word that rhymes with "DUCK"?

Scallywag. Well... ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer.

Favourite planet?

Uranus is easily the funniest one, so that.

Who is the 4th person on your missed call list?

My Dad. Phew, I thought for a second it might have been the customer service centre for Durex.

What is your favorite ring on your phone?

They're all shit, so I just have 'The Killchain' by Bolt Thrower instead.

What shirt are you wearing?

A black one I got from Full Tilt Poker... work will be so disappointed. But hey, they haven't given me any free clothes. I won a jacket in London once and didn't even get it.

What were you doing 20 minutes ago?

Watching the Naked Gun 33 1/3 - The Final Insult.

If you're in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep in?

The one furthest from the door. That's a weird thing of mine.

What were you doing at exactly midnight last night?

Sleeping. That is not cool, it was a Saturday and everything.

What was your last text message you received on your mobile?

It was from Mitch, who was saying that Tony G was his favourite poker player. He has a lot to learn.

How do you like your eggs?

Poached, scrambled or fried. Not runny. Oh, and eaten off a bikini-clad model's cleavage.

What's a word / phrase that you say a lot?

Raise.

Who told you he/she loved you last?

Sadly enough, it's almost certainly my Mum, who is nice enough to say stuff like that. A girl said it to me a couple of years ago but I don't know whether she meant it.

How many Drugs have you done in the last three days?

One (alcohol). I've sure cut down since I was younger.

Favorite age you have been so far?

18, and it's not even close. I had lots of sex (the good kind, not the awkward fumbly kind I seem to have had ever since), had lots of cool friends, went out a lot, and was the fittest I've ever been in my life, doing six hours of karate every week. It was great. I'd relive it in a second.

What wallpaper do you have on your desktop?

A picture of five women bent over a sofa, bums in the air. It's possibly one of the best pictures ever taken.

If you could punch one person in the face, who would it be?

It's impossible to select just one person from my long list of enemies, but the chances are it would be someone from an internet forum or somebody from my school days. Or the singer from Scissor Sisters. Ugh, I'm angry just thinking about it.

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the face of the Earth?

Anybody who sings modern popular R&B music - stuff like Destiny's Child and Sugababes. Seriously, we wouldn't lose anyone significant. To like R&B music you have to have an IQ that can be expressed in one binary digit. No intelligent person could tolerate it.

Do you have a crush on someone?

I have crushes on inappropriate people usually. Like people who are much older than me, or who have a boyfriend, or who worship Satan. Otherwise, I take the time to get to know them, and then usually discover that they are brain-dead morons.

Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it.

Toilet paper. I could make a long list actually. Electricity, water, toothpaste, food, pornography...

What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?

A comedian once said I looked like somebody out of Hollyoaks. I took it as a compliment but it got a laugh that was bit too big.

What is your favorite pizza?

Meat feast, from Domino's. I had one the other night, for which I will be billing PokerStars.

What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in your head?

The Sheila's Wheels song. Don't pretend it's not catchy. They should do a metal version, then it would be good.

Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?

No, thankfully I am listening to music right now, and there is a cool guitar solo on which sounds nothing like Sheila's Wheels.

What are your super powers?

I can make a woman frown at twenty paces.

Where are your car keys?

Dangling from the horn of my pet Unicorn.

Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?

God's. If I met God, the first things I'd ask him are 'What are you super powers?' and 'Where are your car keys?'.

What's your most annoying habit?

I cannot accept that I am wrong in my opinion unless somebody proves beyond reasonable doubt that I am.

What is your best physical feature?

My legs, easily. I wish the rest of my body was as firm and beautiful as my legs are.

What CD is closest to you right now?

The driver CD for the digital camera I got for Christmas.

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?

Milk, Passion Fruit Juice and Meat.

What color are your bed sheets?

Black.

Would you rather be a fish or a bird?

Some would say I'm already a fish, so a bird. A cool one though, like an Owl or a Kestrel. Not some bloody Robin Red Breast - they're the camp men of the bird world.

Do you talk on your mobile phone when you drive?

No, I let the unicorn answer it.

What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?

It's hard to sing death metal, so I usually end up whistling the riffs. I have been known to sing Dream Theater, Johnny Cash, quiet Opeth songs, and Kate Bush though.

If you could go back or forward in time, would you and where would you go?

Back to the 50s, when smoking was cool, and wasn't bad for you. The modern age has taken all the joy out of smoking.

What CD is in your stereo?

'Damnation' by Opeth.

How many kids do you plan on having?

I'd like one of each. Definitely not as many as my Dad, who has five.

If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

Louise Redknapp, and I wouldn't stop at kissing, that's for sure.

What do you do when no one is watching?

Air guitar.

If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be best for the job?

I'll be rather immodest and say Jude Law. They'll have to smarten him up a bit though.

Coffee or tea?

Depends who's offering. Good coffee is better than good tea, but bad tea is better that bad coffee. When I was in hospital I didn't drink coffee at all because it tasted like evil itself.

Have you ever been in love?

Sure, but not for a couple of years now.

There, hasn't that just filled you with the inspiration needed to fill this out yourself now?